There is obviously something very wrong in the drinking water around the Metropolitan Kansas City area. I’ve been doing some very extensive research as to what exactly the problem may be … and I am yet to find an answer … however, there have been some serious side affects that seem to walk hand in hand with this contamination.

The first, foremost, and main side affect is the intense lack of braincells within the anatomical structure of any and every male’s head. Seriously gentleman, how difficult is it for you to identify if you have feelings for someone or not? You either do … or you don’t. The concept isn’t much harder to understand than black and white, spaghetti and meatballs, or Captain and coke.

Take note, guys – “I love you, but…” is NEVER an acceptable thing to say to a woman (unless of course, she is a prostitute and you’ve already slipped a fifty into the waistband of her three day dirty thong).

I’ve been experiencing much hostility toward everything with a third leg and have recently come up with a mental list as to why they suck:
1) MENopause … MENstration.
2) Male pattern baldness – enough said.
3) They consider unhooking a woman’s bra with one hand a true talent. Puh-lease. Take up fire breathing and I might be impressed.
4) They are all looking for a “cute, nice, and funny” girl. Coincidentally, they also want her to look like Jessica Alba and have the libido of a dog in heat.
5) They are overly and undeservedly self-assured … at least your cucumber will never need a round of applause.

Plain and simple … men are like laxatives. They’re irritate the shit out of you.

Until next time =)